Robin, July 16th 1969 Day 366

In the early 60`s a young family with five children enjoyed the simplicity of their lives; the hard working father and stay-at-home mother did their best raising their offspring, 3 boys and 2 girls. Their loving family environment more that made up for their modest existence; their needs were always met.  It wasn’t until later in life that I realized one thing was missing in our family; we did not have God in our lives! Oh yea, occasionally neighbors took us to church but God was rarely mentioned at home. I just didn’t know much about him or how much he loved me or the true reason for his son’s existence.

Life was a much safer and a slower pace than today; we never ever locked our house or cars. As children we were safe to play outside for hours, you never heard of abductions. Kids didn’t bully one another, or take deadly weapons to school. School days began with the pledge of Allegiance to the flag and the Lord’s Prayer.

After a nightly home cooked dinner, our family would gather around the one and only television and watched family shows together. Sunday night was always the best, Walt Disney, Davey Crocket and the Ed Sullivan Show Variety Show. In 1963 when President Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, I remember the terror and fear when they made the announcement at school. For days to follow, as a family, we watched the live funeral of our youngest president.

In 1964 we all gathered around the TV and watched the first United States` appearance of the Beatles. Music changed forever from that very moment; the beginning of Beatle Mania “I Want To Hold Your Hand,” I fell in love with their drummer, Ringo! What an exciting time to be a teenage!

The only time that we played inside was because of inclement weather, if the sun was shining, summer or winter we were outside from morning till dusk. Living by a huge pond provided hours and hours of exploring and excitement. Swimming, fishing, row boating, ice skating and sledding occupied hours and hours. Not to mention baseball, riding bikes, hiding seek, and just playing together; with a family of five children it was always easy to occupy our time. Remember, there were no computers or video games!

My brother, Robin was the family trickster, he loved to irritate and play jokes on everyone. I remember one time when he wrapped a dead snake around the steering wheel of my brother Ernie’s new shiny red Ford. Robin hid, so that he could witness Ernie’s terror when he discovered his slimy passenger, Ernie hated snakes. Robin ran with joy and ornery delight as his big brother tired in vain to catch him.

After I got my license, my mom bought me a $200 car, imagine that a reliable, good running car for $200. Now we didn’t have to ride bus. Nearly every morning I found myself impatiently waiting on Robin. One morning, apparently after someone had driven my car, I found the bench seat too far away, for me to safely reach the gas pedal.

The trouble with a bench seat was that it required cooperation and team work from the passenger and driver to move it forward. As usual Robin was making us late; I pleaded with him to help me move the seat forward, however he had a different plan. In his normal annoy my sister mindset and devilish attitude, he offered no assistance. As I struggled to adjust the seat, Robin laughed and stretched his feet out straight making my task impossible. After what seemed like an eternity, realizing he had successfully driven me insane, he helped me adjust the seat.

On evening when my boyfriend arrived to pick me up for our date, he was drenched by a bucket of water that Robin and my youngest brother Danny had rigged up from the upstairs window. You never knew what prank Robin would think of next!

Aside from his ornery tormenting personality Robin was a very loving compassionate hardworking brother. Robin loved tinkering with his mini bike and had an amazing coin collection. He also loved rabbit hunting with my dad, he a pretty good shot with his 410 rifle. He was also a good shot with his BB gun; I recalled being accidentally shot in the back of head. I remember one time while hunting with my dad, I had successfully walked on the top rail of a fence, and I dared Robin to do the same. Of course, he accepted my challenge; however he wasn’t as agile as his older sister. I got scolded later that evening, when my mom had to take Robin to the doctor to close the gapping hole in the back of his head that required 9 stitches! I felt really bad!

Robin just loved teasing and annoying his brother and sisters, but we all loved one another and would have done anything to protect one another from any danger or harm. One weekend Robin and I joined friends to attend a local carnival. Seven of us piled in their car like sardines (remember no seat belts) to hang-out and enjoy the evening. As we started home and crossed route 40, a drunk driver ran the light slamming into the side of our vehicle, flipping us over. The last thing that I remember were the bright lights heading right for us, realizing that the car was not going to stop. Hours later I woke up in the hospital emergency room with cuts and broken bones that required a 3 week stay in the hospital. Six out of seven of us were treated for cut and bruises. Thank God, no one was critically injured.

My brother Robin was thrown from the car and was the only one to escape unharmed; I was later told that they had to forcefully hold him back, because he was going to get his sister out of that car!

On July fourth, 1969 our entire family enjoyed a huge fireworks display that was put on by the duPont family. They invited families and friends from the nearby community to share in their festive celebration and incredible firework display. This was the largest real life fireworks display that we had ever seen! Robin was so excited; he said that he couldn’t wait for next year!

Even though Robin was very intelligent he was never fond of school, he just didn’t apply himself. The last time that I saw Robin, he was sitting straight and tall in the window seat of the school bus, returning from summer school. I recall looking up, spotting him, then said out loud, “there goes my brother.” Little did I know what would happen only hours later!

Early evening on July 16th, we got one of those phone calls that you never expect to receive. Robin was working on the same farm where just 12 days ago we had celebrated  our best ever, 4th of July; he was baling hay and riding on the fender of a gigantic farm tractor. We were only told that there was an accident; we were instructed to meet the ambulance at the hospital. Remember, there was no cell phones, this accident happened in the middle of a field probably a half a mile from the nearest phone.

Frantically, we followed instructions and started the half an hour drive to the hospital. I recalled, for probably for the first time in my life I cried out to God, begging him for my brother to be alright. When we arrived at the hospital, the ambulance had not yet arrived, adding more fear and questions, how bad was this accident?

Moments later the ambulance arrived, as I stood in shock in the hallway, my brothers pale lifeless body was wheeled right past me! This moment changed my life and the lives of my entire family forever. Robin pasted away about 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived at the hospital. He died of massive internal injuries caused when the huge tractor  rolled over his 15 year old body; Robin was way too young to die!

The shock and the grief were overwhelming; by the time we arrived home, family and friends met us there. They showered us with God’s love and amazing grace, how did they find out so fast? The next few weeks were like a terrible nightmare, how could such a terrible tragic accident happen to our family? How did my mother and father have the strength to bury their son?

So many unanswered questions: Is Robin in heaven with Jesus? When I called out to God, did he send angels to comfort and care for Robin? Did angels escort him to heaven? During his funeral service when my sister Joyce asked, Robin if you understand why we are here and what’s going on, please let me know. Suddenly, the church window slammed shut, scaring everyone making them nearly jump out of their seats. Did Robin acknowledge her questions by persuading an angel to cause this loud unnerving interruption? It’s comforting to believe, that Robin was watching from heaven, rolling in laughter with his ornery grin from ear to ear! When I spotted Robin, as the school  bus whizzed down 213 earlier that day, was it a gift from God? I can still see him sitting up so straight and tall!

On July 20 1969, hours after Robin’s funeral our family once again gathered in front of our TV, this time we watched history being made, as the first man walked on the moon….. I wonder if Robin had a front row seat. “One giant step for mankind,” and “one very sad day for the remaining Frazer family.”

42 years later I’m still facing unanswered questions, why now is God bringing this memory to life and requiring me for the first time to write and share this entire family tragic story? Why did Jodi reluctantly select a story that brought this memory to life? Why did hearing that story bring me to tears after so many years? Will the pain every go away? Is there still healing that God knows that I need? Someday will Robin welcome me at heaven`s gate?

Does this have something to do with my purpose at Generation Station? Do I see my brother Robin in the eyes and faces of every child there? Especially R J, Kyle and Quron? Do all of the children there realize how very precious life is and how quickly it can change? Do they truly love their siblings, family and friends and let them know? But most importantly, do they know how much God loves them? Do they know that Jesus suffered and died on the cross for everyone of them?  Father God, please use me for your glory!

Father God, I pray for the safety and protection for every child that attends Generation Station, I pray that they receive the gifts of your grace and mercy! I pray that they know and receive, Jesus Christ as their savior. I also pray that someday, I will greet each and every one of them at Heaven’s Gate and that I can personally introduce them to my brother, Robin.  Father God, no hurry on this prayer, please let it be in your time!

Father God, thank you for calling my attention to the unforgiveness that I still held onto for Larry, the tractor driver; who also invited Robin to work that evening. Until writing this, I never thought about how difficult this terrible accident must have been on him. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to the necessary forgiveness. Father God, please forgive me; in the release of this unforgiveness,  please allow me to move closer to you!  Thank you, for requiring me to write and share the tragic family story. I love you so much, thank you for knowing me so well! Amen,  Linda