I wouldn`t say that my spirit is crushed but surely feeling the effects of pain and grieving. I struggle to make sense of my niece Kim`s poor choices to return to the deadly life of drug addiction. Even though I understand addiction, I can`t fathom how she allowed herself to be consumed by the lifestyle, again. I reached a place where I couldn`t even pray for her; revealing my weakness and conditional love! I thank God for His "unconditional love" for Kim. Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, say the LORD, who has compassion on you.
I believe that God is using this time of suffering to teach and open my heart to his ways! Psalms 33:18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. Father God, please deliver Kim from the bondage of addiction, restore and renew her soul, fill her with the Holy Spirit! She knows you.........but!
Recently, my emotions surfaced causing my resistance to take a noise dive; for the first time in a long while I got some kind of 48 hour flu bug. I didn`t want to get sick, but I felt like crap, belly cramps, dreadful headache, no appetite or energy. Did my emotions sabotage my body? Had I allowed Satan to whisper to my soul; you`ve been through a lot in the past month, you deserve to shut down for a few days. Crawl up in bed, feel the aches and pain of your distress. Sure worth pondering, he is the great deceiver! Was it a co-inky-dink that this flu bug surfaced on the one month anniversary of Rose`s death? Hum, Satan?
Can I manage my emotions during times of difficulties? I believe so with God`s help and extra prayer, I just need to call on Jesus. According to David Seamands, "Healing for Damaged Emotions," "here is the good news of the Gospel for people with damaged emotions: God loves us, not because we are good, but because we need His love in order to be good. Christ, our high priest, bore our sins and our infirmities, not because we are good, but because we need his love and acceptance in order to be good. The Holy Spirit offers us His continuous enabling presence and power, not because we are good, but because we need Him in order to be good."
Satan, you have no authority, the doorway to my soul belongs to Jesus! Ephesians 6:10-14 Finally, be strong in the LORD and in his might power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil`s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the power of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.
So long, Satan...... got to go get dressed for battle! Does this suit of armor make me look fat?
While Satan was trying to deceive you, Linda, Jesus was saying "hey girl, how about we use this down time to reconnect?" And did He not know it was a month anniversary since Rose's death and you needed a 'time out' with Him?
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