Compromise Day 368

2 Timothy 1:7  For God did not give us the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.

Within the first few days of working at the Generation Station, I realized that it just didn`t seem to be the right fit for me.  Having never had my own children or ever worked with children, perhaps being thrown into the mix of an after-school program, wasn`t the ideal place for a 60 year old novice to begin.  My heart was in the right place but not much else!  The lack of respect for authority, property and for one another, that I witnessed from these middle-schoolers proved to be more than I was willing to tolerate.   Maybe, I was just experiencing generational changes that appalled and depressed me!    Father God, this generation needs you!

Perhaps, I was in a bottom of the totem pole position that offered only limited time and opportunity to truly minister to the children; delivering me feelings of frustration, boredom and ineffectiveness.   I felt lost and stifled as I tried to joyfully fill my glorified job of baby-sitting  for a group of middle schoolers.   Don`t get me wrong, this 12 year old program is very successful and has benefited lots of children, but not sure it`s where I need to be!

The question that I find myself pondering is, did I truly and sincerely pray and listen to God about this job?  Or did I take this position to pacify my hubby`s desire for me to have a job?  How do we truly know when we are functioning in the will God or merely satisfying our earthly needs!  Where my immediate feelings of frustration an indication of a poor choice and or disobedience to God?  Was God trying to teach me something?  Did I get it?

Isaiah 30:1 "Woe to the obstinate children," declares the LORD, "to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my spirit, heaping sin upon sin;

Hum, I certainly wasn`t a walking example of the fruits of the spirit.....love, peace,  patience.....maybe I didn`t listen to God! Satan was trying to whisper in my ear, but I didn`t listen!   Father God, thank you for loving me and for allowing us do-overs!  Tuesday is my last official day at Generation Station however, I feel lead to volunteer there one day a week on Wednesdays.  I pray that this day will allow me to walk in your glory and to overflow with your love and mercy.

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

As a volunteer, my first project is to take children to a new evening contemporary church service that begins on November 30th.  So far, 11 out of 20ish have expressed an interest to attend!  Now this is what I`m talking about, an opportunity to plant a seed!   Are there details to work out, oh yea but I`m up for a challenge and the commitment to introduce some middle-schoolers to our Heavenly Father!

 Proverbs 22:6  Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Father God, thank you for holding me in your loving arms as I so diligently try to function in your perfect will and plans  .....Ephesians 3:20  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.  Amen!