Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, the name that sends Satan running! Not sure what`s going on but I`ve been struggling with blogging, and I`m not liking it. Feels as if I`ve turned my back on my therapy sessions; or have I just been too busy enjoying the summer? No time like the present to get started.
Two weeks ago I had the privilege of delivering my full personal testimony for our healing and prayer service. For the first time I shared publicly the whole truth about who I am and why I am who I am! As I delivered my twenty minute testimony, it was if I was totally naked before the entire congregation of peers, family, friends and total strangers. However, earlier that day as I prayed, I believe that Jesus told me that he would be standing right beside me. No doubt he is a man of his word; I felt comfort, peace and protected as I shared the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Yes, tears flowed and lives where touched for the glory of God. It is when we allow God to expose our transparency that the truth sets us free. The light of Christ Jesus shined brightly, as I shared the darkness that had held me captive for decades.
John 8:12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.
I thank God for the opportunity to witness and testify what He has done in my life, it was such a blessing to be used as a vessel for His glory. Several people confessed to me that my life story touched them in an amazing and powerful way. God did not create us to walk through this life alone, He created us for love, fellowship and to witness one to the other.
1 Timothy 1:14-16 The grace of our LORD was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners---of whom I am the worst. But for this very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinner, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
The following week, Rick and I were traveling to visit family in Lexington,Kentucky then off to Atlanta, Georgia. With a heavy heart, I disclose that my niece Kim, has fallen once again deeper into the pit of addiction. The soccer mom, once striving for perfection, is now a hardened criminal facing years behind bars. Failed attempts at recovery and restoration burden Kim and her entire family.
Even after 2 years of sobriety, poor choices have led her into the gates of hell. In my humanness, I reached the place where I had difficulty praying for her; I just didn`t understand. However, I thank God that His love for Kim is unconditional. Mine, not so much. At least temporarily, I know God will restore and open my heart through His love. For now, I loathed what she has done to herself, her husband, children, parents, siblings, family and me. I find myself grieving the life and relationship that Kim and I once shared. Grieving, truly grieving! The Kim that I love is missing, enslaved in the family curse of addiction. Of course, I still love her but I`m angry, help me LORD. My prayer is that God will rescue her from herself and the captivity that confines her! The burden is beyond her capabilities. Please, LORD help me and my baby-girl!
We had a great visit with family but, I was not emotionally prepared to see Kim! Dressed in a green jump suit behind a thick glass wall, I stared into Kim`s soul! Aunt Linda, how did I get here? I don`t know! When, where, how, what is it that entices addicts to sell their soul to Satan. Is there pain that`s buried deep inside that`s just too painful to confront? Do the drugs disguise reality? Who`s in charge, the addict or the addiction? When you reach the point of no return, then what? Has Kim finally hit "rock bottom"? Will she choose Satan or God? Only God knows, I pray that there is someone in a prison ministry that God will use to save my baby-girl.
Off to Atlanta. Thank God Rick was driving, the thought of Kim and her situation opened the flood gates of my heart. Off and on for hundreds of miles, I just couldn't`t stop crying. I prayed, I cried, I prayed, I cried there was not stopping the grief that flooded my soul. Maybe, the angels in heaven joined me, we ran into a down pour!
Rain pounding sheets of rain, visibility was awful! At least. it took my mind off of Kim, I didn`t know how Rick could see. Bumper to bumper traffic on a five lane interstate. I tried in vain to convince Rick to pull off the highway, but in true male fashion he was determined to push onward to Atlanta to his sister`s house. "We`ll be alright." The rain lessened, then picked up again. I was not liking this, I prayed that God would protect us and all those sharing the interstate. I was scared!
Finally, Rick thought perhaps we should get off the interstate, but we only have 60 miles to go. Seconds later, traveling nearly 70 mph Rick lost control of the car. The rear of the car started sliding out of control toward the guard rail. It was as if he was turning the steering wheel 360 degrees trying to regain control. Next we were sliding sideways in front of approaching vehicles, it felt as if we where on two wheels, was the car going to roll? Frantically, I was crying out to Jesus! Jesus help us, Jesus help us, Jesus help us. Jesus help us!
Moments later we had crossed in front of four lanes of traffic resting safely on the right hand shoulder of the highway. As traffic whizzed past, in disbelief Rick looked at me, and said what just happened? We were both in shock, nearly a half a mile from where the slide commenced. There was no doubt in our minds that Jesus had summoned a band of heavenly angels to direct our path. Thank you, Jesus. Psalm 90:11-12 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
Humbled beyond comprehension and profoundly grateful we continued onward! Four days later my heart pounded with joy, excitement and relief when we arrived safely home. Thank you, God!
Surely the experiences from this vacation will not quickly be forgotten, Sunday in church, I prayerfully rededicated my life to the LORD! In eight short days I went from standing beside Jesus while delivering my testimony onto pleading and beckoning for His help while sliding sideways at 70 miles per hour on a five lane interstate. Did He take the wheel? As I was driving home from church God tenderly reminded me of my prayer, at last month`s Healing and Prayer Service in Kent Island. I prayed to be filled with "more of Jesus." Really God, I laughed out loud and thanked the LORD.......for answered prayers and His faithfullness . AMEN!
